WORK It: Goal Setting That Grows with You
I am the queen of goal setting—I love setting goals! And to be honest, it’s served me well. Back in college, I was totally over it. I wanted out as soon as possible. Now, I’m not the brightest bulb in the box, but when I want something, I double down and figure out how to get it done.
I did tons of research, called my academic advisor more times than she probably appreciated, and realized that if I took a three-week astronomy class over winter break and a correspondence course during the year, I could graduate a full year early.
I still remember walking into her office with my homemade academic plan, ready for her to just rubber stamp it. She read through it silently, muttering things like, “Well, you’ll need to…oh, you did that…hmm, this won’t—wait…oh, okay…where do I sign?”
And yes—I graduated with 121 credits (would’ve done 120 if I could’ve).
Back then, I loved the research—and I’ll admit, I took pride in showing up the person who was technically paid to help me. That was my 20s.
Since then, life has gotten more complicated.
Let’s be real: if I tried to pull off that kind of plan now? Yeah… I wouldn’t be bragging about it. Kids have a way of throwing a beautifully crafted plan straight into the flu-season blender.
The author Napoleon Hill once said, “A goal is a dream with a deadline.” Deadlines can change, but the act of setting one brings our hopes and ideas to life. I’ve found that when clients choose a target date, their goals start to feel more real and attainable. A deadline doesn’t have to be exact — it can be as simple as “by the end of the month.” The key is to set a timeline that feels motivating and realistic, not overwhelming. Choose a date that pushes you forward without discouraging progress.
Goal setting in your 30s and 40s? Totally different game.
I’ve had to learn how to pivot, reflect on what’s actually important to me, and (hardest of all) ask for help. Like I always say:
“We are all a work in progress.”
But progress is still progress.
Just because something doesn’t happen on our timeline—or doesn’t look the way we imagined—doesn’t mean it’s less valuable.
And since goals are work, let’s break it down and spell it out:
W — What do you want to accomplish?
Like any good goal, we need to clearly define what we’re trying to achieve.
In my case, I wanted to get out of school. But that’s not specific enough—I could’ve dropped out! (Then I wouldn’t be writing this fabulous article for you.)
My actual goal? Graduate in 3 years.
What’s your goal? Try to be specific—especially at the beginning. (And yes, I say at the beginning for a reason…we’ll come back to that.)
Being specific gives us the fire we need to take action. Vague goals like “I want to get healthy” don’t usually lead to change.
But “I want to ride in my first marathon”? Now that can light a spark.
O — Open your mind to other possibilities
I know—I just hyped you up and now I’m asking you to chill out a little. Hear me out.
Have you ever gotten so locked in on a specific goal that you forgot why you set it in the first place? Same.
Let’s go back to our marathon friend. Say she breaks her leg right before the race. Total bummer. But—what did she actually achieve? What was the bigger picture?
Remember, her original goal was “I want to get healthy.” That’s still valid!
Sometimes we have to revisit our why:
- Maybe her mom has diabetes and she wants to avoid that.
- Why? Because she doesn’t want to die young.
- Why not? Because she wants to be around for her kids.
- Why? Because she loves them and being a good mom matters to her.
See where I’m going with this?
She didn’t fail because she didn’t finish the race. And you don’t fail if your path changes. Pivoting is part of life—and sometimes, you pivot into something even more meaningful. Or you pivot back when the time is right.
R — Record your progress
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt stuck—like nothing’s happening—only for a friend to remind me how far I’ve come. That moment? It’s everything.
Tracking your progress might look like:
- Journaling
- Using an app
- Texting a friend weekly
Whatever works for you, find a way to look back. You’ll surprise yourself with how far you’ve come.
K — Kick the bad goals to the curb
Here’s your permission slip: You’re allowed to ditch a goal.
I like to say I’m a perfectionist who can’t achieve perfection. And perfection? It’s not real.
Unrealistic goals don’t make you try harder—they make you feel like a failure. And that’s not the vibe we’re going for.
Sometimes, it’s not just a pivot—it’s a full-on goodbye. And that’s okay.
Back to our biker. What if she doesn’t even like biking? What if she’s chasing a dream she added to her bucket list when she was 12? What if she’s spending time away from the things she loves for something that isn’t even her anymore?
No wonder she broke her leg.
So here’s the thing:
- There are countless ways to get healthy.
- There are countless ways to live a fulfilling life.
- Don’t hold on so tightly to a goal that you forget why it mattered in the first place.
Final Thoughts
You are wonderful and capable of many amazing things.
Goal setting can feel tough—but it can also be fun, energizing, and purpose-finding.
And remember: you’re probably doing better than you think.
So give yourself some grace, and keep showing up.
✨ Want a little extra support? Explore Progress Over Perfection — a self-guided tool designed to help you manage work-related stress and stay grounded when things feel overwhelming.
✨ Live in Washington, Idaho, Montana, or Utah? I offer therapy support to help you navigate work stress, anxiety, and burnout — so you can feel more grounded and in control again.
