Work Stress Isn’t Just About Being Busy
As a counselor, I often hear clients say things like, “I want to find a low-stress job,” or “I just want to lower my stress at work.” Those are very reasonable goals. But before we talk about changing jobs or careers, the first thing I help clients do is define what work stress actually looks like for them.
Because stress at work isn’t one-size-fits-all.
And interestingly, being busy usually isn’t the main culprit.
Work stress isn’t just about being busy. Many people manage busy fairly well. What usually creates stress are unrealistic expectations, lack of support, unclear roles, ongoing conflict, and work environments that don’t align with how someone functions best. Understanding what’s actually driving stress is the first step toward lowering it.
Busy Doesn’t Always Mean Stressed
Many people assume that a stressful job is simply one that’s fast-paced or demanding. In practice, I often find the opposite.
A lot of people manage “busy” fairly well—especially those who:
- Feel engaged when they have momentum
- Find that staying busy helps the day go by faster
- Experience satisfaction from being productive or useful
For some, not having enough to do can feel more stressful than having a full plate. What tends to create chronic stress isn’t the pace of work—it’s the conditions surrounding it.
What Actually Makes Work Feel Stressful
When clients describe feeling overwhelmed or burned out, stress is usually tied to factors like:
- Work demands that can’t realistically be accomplished in the time given
- Ongoing tension with coworkers or managers
- Unclear or unrealistic expectations
- Poor or inconsistent management
- Lack of resources or training to do the job well
- Being asked to regularly do work outside of their job description
- Not having time for the tasks they enjoy—or the work that originally drew them to the profession
These stressors are less about effort and more about misalignment—between expectations, support, values, and capacity.
Why “Low-Stress Job” Can Be a Misleading Goal
When someone says they want a low-stress job, what they’re often really saying is:
- “I want work to feel manageable.”
- “I want clearer expectations.”
- “I want support instead of constant pressure.”
- “I want my effort to feel meaningful again.”
This is why changing jobs doesn’t always solve the problem. Without understanding what’s actually driving the stress, people can move into a new role that feels just as overwhelming—only in a different way.
Stress management starts with understanding your stress, not just escaping it.
How Personality Plays a Role in Work Stress
In my work, I often use the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) personality assessment to help clients better understand why certain aspects of their job feel especially stressful to them.
Personality doesn’t cause stress—but it shapes how we experience it.
Two people can be in the same role with the same workload and have completely different stress responses. Some people thrive on collaboration and frequent interaction, while others feel drained by constant meetings and interruptions. Some prefer structure and predictability; others need flexibility and autonomy to function well.
When clients complete the Myers-Briggs assessment alongside reflecting on their work stress, patterns often become much clearer.
Why Personality Insight Can Be So Helpful
The Myers-Briggs framework helps us look at:
- How you naturally gain and lose energy
- How you process information and make decisions
- How you prefer to work with structure, deadlines, and flexibility
- How you communicate and respond to expectations
When job demands consistently clash with these preferences, stress tends to rise—not because you’re doing something wrong, but because the environment isn’t supporting how you function best.
For many clients, this insight is relieving. Instead of thinking, “Why can’t I handle this?” the question becomes, “What does my personality and nervous system need to feel supported at work?”
Turning Insight Into Practical Stress-Reduction Strategies
Used on its own, a personality assessment is just information. Used alongside what clients share about their real-life stress, it becomes a practical tool.
Together, we’re often able to:
- Identify specific work conditions that increase stress
- Adjust communication and boundary-setting strategies
- Create routines that better match energy and focus styles
- Clarify whether stress is situational or systemic
- Reduce self-blame by replacing it with understanding
The goal isn’t to change who you are—it’s to work with your personality instead of against it.
Practical Ways to Lower Stress at Work (Without Changing Jobs—Yet)
Once stressors are clearly defined, many people are able to reduce stress without immediately leaving their job. Some helpful strategies include:
1. Clarifying Expectations
Unclear expectations often create more stress than heavy workloads. Asking for clarity can significantly reduce mental load.
2. Setting Consistent Boundaries
Stress tends to build when boundaries exist once, but not consistently. Without reinforcement, old habits often creep back in. Calm, repeated limits are often more effective than dramatic boundary-setting moments.
3. Advocating for Resources or Training
Feeling underprepared is a major source of stress. Identifying gaps in support can be an important first step. This may involve asking for additional resources at work or seeking learning opportunities outside of work.
4. Protecting the Parts of Work You Enjoy
Burnout accelerates when all energy goes toward demands and none toward meaning. Even small adjustments matter.
5. Distinguishing Temporary Stress from Ongoing Misalignment
Some stress is situational and passes. Other stress comes from systems that are unlikely to change. Knowing the difference helps guide next steps.
When Work Stress Signals It’s Time for Deeper Support
If work stress is affecting your sleep, mood, relationships, or sense of self, it may be time to look beyond surface-level fixes.
Therapy can help you:
- Understand your specific stress patterns
- Learn tools to manage anxiety and overwhelm
- Strengthen boundaries and communication
- Clarify career direction and values
- Rebuild energy and confidence
You don’t need to wait until burnout to get support.
You Don’t Need a Perfect Job to Feel Better at Work
Stress management isn’t about finding a mythical stress-free job. It’s about creating work conditions that are realistic, supportive, and aligned with who you are.
If work has been feeling heavy or unsustainable, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to figure it out by yourself.
Progress, not perfection.
✨ Looking for additional support?
If you’re looking for stress support, you have options—whether that’s starting with my ebook Progress Over Pressure: Stress Management for Working Women, or scheduling a free consultation if you live in WA, ID, MT, or UT and are interested in therapy.
⬇️ Explore the resources below
