In my early twenties, I worked as a paraprofessional in an elementary school. I loved the students. I was assigned to one of the best teachers in the building, and that year was energizing and fulfilling.
The following school year, I was placed in a different classroom. Most paraprofessionals didn’t enjoy working with this particular teacher—staff rotated yearly so no one had to stay in that room longer than one year. That was the year I started having persistent stomach pain.
I went to the doctor. We ran tests. Nothing significant showed up. But the pain was real.
It wasn’t until later that I understood what was happening: my body was responding to chronic stress. I wasn’t in crisis. I wasn’t being yelled at daily. I wasn’t failing. But I was walking into a stressful environment five days a week, bracing myself, tightening internally, staying alert. My nervous system never fully relaxed. And my body absorbed the cost.
Yes—Even When You Don't Feel Stressed
If you asked me back then whether I was “stressed,” I probably would have said no. I wasn’t overwhelmed. I wasn’t crying in the bathroom. I would have told you I was managing just fine. And in a lot of ways, I was—my work still got done, I still showed up, I still functioned.
That’s exactly why this is easy to miss. Stress doesn’t always announce itself as a feeling. Sometimes the first sign isn’t an emotional one at all—it’s a physical one. Your body can be absorbing real, sustained activation long before your conscious mind labels any of it “stress.”
Chronic Stress Doesn't Always Look Obvious
You may be reading this thinking, “that’s me”—either looking back on a time like that, or living in the middle of one right now. Nothing is showing up as medically wrong, but you may be seeing signs of chronic stress showing up in your body anyway. And it’s worth saying: this doesn’t only happen in a job you don’t enjoy. It can show up just as easily in work you love and genuinely care about. Here are some signs to look for, or ones you may already be noticing:
- Shoulder or jaw tension that never fully releases
- Trouble sleeping even when you’re exhausted
- Digestive issues with no clear medical cause
- Headaches or muscle tension
- Irritability that feels “not quite like you”
- A sense of always being “on”
You may still be functioning. Still doing the work. Still reliable. But your body feels tight, and that tightness is trying to tell you something.
Your gut and brain are constantly talking to each other. When you’ve been stressed for a long time, that stress can start showing up in your digestion—maybe as stomach issues, discomfort, or feeling more sensitive to things that normally wouldn’t bother you. Sometimes those symptoms are your body’s way of communicating with you.
Why These Symptoms Get Missed
I normalized mine for a long time. I kept going, met my expectations, managed work and everything outside of it, and told myself the stomach pain and tight shoulders were just part of being a busy adult. Looking back, I think that’s a pattern a lot of us share. We assume some level of exhaustion and discomfort just comes with life.
And to a point, it does. But functioning is not the same as thriving. I missed my own early warning signs for months. I don’t beat myself up over that now, but I am glad I’ve learned to recognize them sooner.
An Early Warning Sign I Still Watch For
Even now—especially now—I have to pay attention. For me, chronic stress shows up as tight shoulders and a feeling of always being “on.” It’s often tied to responsibility—not just helping clients, but helping them in exactly the way I expect of myself. Case notes done a certain way, within a certain timeframe, balancing presence with productivity.
When I notice that tension, I try to remind myself it’s time to intervene. That might look like spacing out appointments instead of stacking them, protecting an uninterrupted lunch, leaving white space in my calendar, or choosing rest on the weekend instead of another to-do list. Every time I pull back, I relearn something important: the work still gets done. The world doesn’t fall apart. But my body gets to exhale.
Know Your Own Wiring
Looking back at that classroom, I didn’t just need less stress. I needed to understand how I was wired, how I carry stress, and what actually helps me recover. I’m learning that I naturally carry stress in my body, and that I’m not someone who’s quick to directly approach a person who’s making me feel uncomfortable. That’s something I’m working on. But in the meantime, I’ve had to learn to work with where I’m actually at, instead of waiting until I’ve become someone different.
Chronic stress isn’t always about how much is on your plate. Sometimes it’s about a quiet mismatch between how you’re built and what your environment keeps asking of you. If you recharge in quiet but spend your days constantly interacting with others, you’ll run a deficit no amount of efficiency can fix. If you do your best work inside clear structure but report to someone whose instructions are ambiguous, you may spend enormous energy just trying to feel steady.
That’s not weakness. It’s not a personal failing. It’s a wiring mismatch. When you can name that, something shifts—you stop blaming yourself and start asking better questions: what do I actually need? What adjustments are possible? Where can I build recovery instead of just pushing harder? This is part of why I incorporate personality and work-style assessments like the MBTI into my practice. They aren’t about putting you in a box. They help you understand why certain environments cost you more than they seem to cost someone else—and what you can realistically do about it.
A Few Small Ways to Start Listening
You don’t have to overhaul your life to start responding to what your body’s been telling you. A few small, doable places to start:
- Notice where you hold tension. Pay attention to where stress tends to show up first—your shoulders, jaw, stomach, chest, or somewhere else. For me, it’s usually my shoulders creeping up toward my ears before I’ve even realized I’m stressed. Catching those patterns earlier makes it easier to respond before the tension builds.
- Give yourself a little space between things. Back-to-back meetings, errands, or tasks can keep your body in go-mode all day. Even a few minutes to stand up, stretch, walk around, breathe, or simply do nothing can help you come down a notch before moving on to the next thing.
- Let some of it out. Stress tends to feel heavier when you’re carrying all of it by yourself. Talking with someone you trust can give you a place to say what you’re actually thinking and feeling instead of holding it all in.
- Pay attention to what you’re dreading. If your body tenses up every time you think about a certain meeting, task, or person, it may be worth getting curious about why. Dread doesn’t always mean something is wrong, but it can be a useful clue that something needs your attention.
I’ve found that while big adjustments can help, even small ones can make a real difference over time—as long as they’re sustainable. So if any of these resonate, great. If not, be creative. Find what actually works for you.
A Few Questions Worth Sitting With
Sit with these honestly. The answers usually surface once you stop trying to force them.
- Where does stress tend to show up in your body first—and how long have you been brushing it off as normal?
- Have you ever had a physical symptom checked out, only to be told there wasn’t a clear medical reason for it?
- Is there something in your current environment that consistently leaves you feeling tense, drained, or on edge?
- What might change if you treated a recurring symptom as something worth paying attention to, rather than something to work around?
- Where could you make one small adjustment now instead of waiting until things feel unbearable?
If your body has been trying to tell you something for longer than you’d like to admit, this is exactly the kind of pattern I help clients understand and work with—often using assessments like the MBTI and WOWI to get clarity faster than guesswork alone. If you’re in Washington, Idaho, Montana, Utah, or Colorado, I’d love to help you sort it out.
